PVLF 2025

Interview With Dr. Samir Parikh, author of "Alone in the Crowd: Overcoming Loneliness of Urban Living"

There is a change in the social fabric in urban areas. The family sizes are reducing and there is a high rate of migration of people from smaller towns to larger cities, leaving behind their families and crucial support systems. Concurrently, there is a high pressure to perform at workplaces and people invest themselves heavily in work.
on Apr 05, 2023

Dr Samir Parikh is an eminent psychiatrist working in the field of mental health over the past two decades. He is the director of the Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences at Fortis Healthcare. Under his guidance and leadership, the Department works to provide comprehensive mental health services and also conducts specialized programmes for the community. He has been a speaker at various national and international forums on mental health issues. Dr Parikh has conducted various studies which have been published in the media and have helped the community get an insight into mental health issues. Dr Parikh also has a very prominent presence in the media; he has played a key role in enhancing the image of mental health in the country and his views are widely appreciated by people. He is amongst the most well-known experts in the country on mental health issues.

Frontlist: What inspired you to write a book on urban loneliness and its impact on people's lives?

Dr Samir: Over the years I have increasingly come across a larger number of people in my practice who have spoken about experiencing intense feelings of loneliness. This has been particularly surprising as even younger people have been approaching with such concerns. What has been more disturbing is the fact that we live in a populous country, surrounded by millions of people and yet people feel disconnected from those around them and do not feel like they have adequate support and can reach someone to seek comfort when they are distressed. These were some aspects that prompted us to write about this very present reality.

Frontlist: In your opinion, how has modern technology both contributed to and exacerbated the problem of urban loneliness?

Dr Samir: Technology has brought people closer to each other, creating access to those who live in geographically distant locations. It has enabled people to search and find those with whom they may have lost contact on account of varying reasons. Nevertheless, it has also brought forth innumerable distractions which prevent people from engaging with each other. Often technology platforms have become substitutes for in-person interactions. The comfort of simply texting has taken away from the need or even desire to get up and go and meet someone. There are constant comparisons, thoughts about who has more and who has less, or who is better and who is not, all of which are experiences that can take away from peoples’ self-beliefs, making them feel unhappy and wanting to withdraw and not engage with others. Furthermore, people have become far more busy and in a bid to do more are not able to invest in relationships that do matter. All of these factors contribute towards loneliness.

Frontlist: How do you see the issue of urban loneliness intersecting with other societal issues, such as income inequality, mental health, and access to healthcare?

Dr Samir: Loneliness can be pervasive and affect individuals regardless of who they are and where they come from or what the circumstances of their life may be. At the same time, no two people would respond to the circumstances that are difficult in the same way.

Frontlist: Even in the 21st century, there is still a stigma associated with mental health. What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Dr Samir: More conversations need to be encouraged. People need to have access to information so they can enhance their knowledge and understanding. Seeking inputs from credible sources is crucial. This can help beat myths and misconceptions and also ensure that people don’t hesitate to seek help. It is important that people become aware of the ways in which their words and actions can prevent others from sharing their thoughts, feelings and experiences. Every individual taking accountability is crucial. Further, it is important to ensure that the youth are encouraged from a young age in their schools and colleges to be advocates for mental health. Besides policy reforms, it is crucial to bring in collaboration between experts from varying fields to ensure that information and access to mental health services increases across the furthest reaches of the country. Digital mediums can play a substantial role in this regard.

Frontlist: What are the key factors contributing to the rise of loneliness in urban areas, and how do they differ from other regions?

Dr Samir: There is a change in the social fabric in urban areas. The family sizes are reducing and there is a high rate of migration of people from smaller towns to larger cities, leaving behind their families and crucial support systems. Concurrently, there is a high pressure to perform at workplaces and people invest themselves heavily in work. Factors like travel, overtime and the pressure to do more lest someone else progress beyond you, take over and push people to stay engaged to work and not necessarily to people. There is less time left to invest in people and relations that matter. Be it at work or in the neighbourhood, there is often not much time to get acquainted with people or have meaningful interactions with them. People are constantly busy and seeking more to keep themselves engaged, immersed in different gadgets and not always mindfully engaged to what they truly need. A lot of these aspects are more dominant in urban areas which lead to an increase in the experience of loneliness for those who live there.

Frontlist: According to you, what are the most actionable takeaways from the book, and how can readers apply them in their daily lives?

Dr Samir: - Invest in relationships that matter

- Get engaged with your own self. Understand what matters to you and the values you want to live your life by

- Find time for the activities that you have always wanted to engage in

- Ensure that you take a break from the digital world on a regular basis

- Meet people in person and not just on online platforms

- Be willing to slow down and not rush from one task to the other. Taking breaks is crucial

- Engage in building urban mindfulness by immersing yourself in the small and big things that you do and being in the moment as you do an activity

Frontist: Can you discuss some of the unique challenges faced by different demographic groups, such as elderly adults, LGBTQ+ individuals, or immigrants, in terms of experiencing urban loneliness and how these challenges can be addressed effectively?

Samir: Any individual who feels segregated on account of any factor is likely to experience loneliness. When members of society are not sensitive to the needs of different individuals it can enhance their feelings of loneliness through the disconnectedness they may experience with people and society around them. It is important to develop a sensitive attitude and empathy towards the diverse experiences that people can have. An approach of kindness towards others and also the self can be critical in ensuring that people can feel more connected to others around them. Compassion and a willingness to see experiences from the lens of another are important aspects.